Lady Dalston Presents : 'Le Monstre Productions

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OOOH! BURLESQUE? is the love child of the pure adoration of the Burlesque scene and the desire for it to be recognised for the art form that it was, is and will be! Say OOOH! for BURLESQUE!

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

The Lizard King & The Public Sheep by Lady Dalston

Based on David Icke's Talks : 'At the heart of his theories lies the idea that the world is becoming a global fascist state, that a secret group of reptilian humanoids called the Babylonian Brotherhood controls humanity, and that many prominent figures are reptilian, including George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, Kris Kristofferson, and Boxcar Willie'.

Tuesday, 30 August 2011


Scum by Lady Dalston

So low I'm back at the top again
The smuttiest slut of the sordid scum
Don't give my body to science
If it's cut open, evil will spill out
It'll infiltrate your mind
Incredulously creating an intrinsic web across your mind
Leave me six feet under...put me to the stake
Just don't pity me...that would be your last mistake
Break my bones, burn my hair
I'll dance to the tune of death
Embracing each smoulder and crack
But don't you fret
I'll be back
Though I'd watch from behind closed doors
The live show tends to involve audience participation
So that's me
The sort that says hello
But doesn't ask 'How do you do?'
Your well being is not, as yet, my problem
Nothing personal, it's me, not you

Monday, 29 August 2011


Libertine by Lady Dalston

I'm going to Libertine my life away
But I have to work, so that I can play all day
There is something uniquely bizarre about I say
For work is for those who wish to toil away

But if you are finished, or can get off around five
Come and knock on a door to the house that is like a hive
Full of people coming and going, it seems alive
Though there are those that would call it a dive

But if you are daring, take my hand and follow me
To a land that is all utopias and free
Bring any spare, borrowed or stolen money
And leave behind normality
Forget that festering humanity
And return to a state of animality
And fucking brilliant abnormality
Where you can see the universe in its totality
And talk to God satanically
And play around with the stars of eternity
Have a chat with Jesus about his paternity
And mess around with sexuality
And flirt with yourself seductively
But when you think it is all going perfectly
And life is going so splendidly
It'll all end most disappointingly

But don't you worry, we'll be here
To tuck your hair behind your ear
As you vomit up your fear
Of living in the real world each day, each year

But don't you worry, we'll be right here
We're down here, waiting for you my dear
But you chose to live out there, not here
We like it in here, each day, each year

We sing songs of love and lust
Of flowers and clementines
Of tragedies and what we must
Of all the things we have seen

We'll wait for you, that you can trust
To go back to where we have been
We'll keep your place free of others and dust
Our lovely Libertine

Unicorns and Butterflies

Unicorns and Butterflies by Lady Dalston

Ginger beer, stationary and really old books
New clothes, favourite heels and retro, vintage looks
Familiar houses to go round for a cup of tea
Red London buses and hot days by the sea
Daisies and sunflowers and cuddly, purring cats
Cute feminine dresses and trendy trilby hats
Dancing because it feels good and smiling til it aches
Learning the words to a favourite song and kids birthday cakes
Clouds shaped like animals and brilliant TV shows
Someone pleased I came and a duvet when it snows
Laughing til I cry and the sun on my face
Big trees, rainbows and being in the right time and place
Unicorns and butterflies and fresh, crisp sheets
That wonderful bit where the sky and space meets
Someone coming round and a quirky movie
Laughing at myself and calling something groovy
A lazy day, merry-go rounds and swimming when its hot
Puppies and ponies and wishing forget-me-not
Eeyore, pizza, Wilde and the beach
Imaginary games and catching dreams that were nearly out of reach
And so many more thing that will have to go in Part 2
Though deep down we know that top of the list is...


by Lady Dalston - dedicated to Madre

Sunday, 28 August 2011


WOMAN by Lady Dalston

A beating a day
As the men say
Will keep a woman in place
But a woman can be more powerful
If she knows herself
And keeps a seductive smile
Slapped on her face

Friday, 26 August 2011

London Bus

London Bus by Lady Dalston

Great fat London bus
Lumbering around with all your weight
Like a gluttonous fat pig in the corner of a pub
Gorging itself on beer and swill
But that's what England is, that indulged man
That wanders around London, belly full of cans
A bit of kebab, ciggie on the floor
And the company of winos and possibly a whore 
By day it seems you have an honest profession
But by night your standards seem to lessen
And your comapny seems so sour
As time goes on, hour by hour
Great fat London bus
Your company seems so sour
So put on a new coat and your dancing shoes
And that way, dear fat bus
No-one can say a red bus has the blues
We'll take the bus and sing along
While the wheels on the bus...trundle along

Le Monstre & le chat

Le Monstre & The Cat by Lady Dalston